Day 84 - Dear Diary and Friends...We Need to Talk!

Today is the last day of the first three months of the rest of my life.

TECHNICALLY.

I really WANT to count it at day 90 but if we're going month by month, today is the day that marks the end of of those first three months.

And while a LOT of good things have happened in these past three months, I do believe it's time we all had a little chat.

I don't want to call anyone out or bring anyone to task for what they have or haven't done...I'm merely going to share what I've been going through much of the last month and if any of it applies to you, you'll know and then maybe we can work that much harder to get our s**t together - together.

When I began this last weight loss journey - as in, this is the LAST TIME I'm taking this particular journey - I had just returned from Philadelphia, where I had tried out for Season 14 of the Biggest Loser.

As we all know, I did not get chosen for the show but while in Philly, I made a vow - I would not remain in this body another minute longer. That no matter what happened with BL14, I would begin my (last) journey and unlike so many times in the past, I would reach my destination: HEALTHY - mind, body, and spirit.

To that end, I came home and hopped right on it. The first month was AWESOME. I was focused and true and hit some pretty great goals. The second month I was still on track and averaging 1/2 a pound a day, lost.

The inches were falling off too and I was feeling good.

And then???

We started the third month. And I lost my mind (it happens to me a lot, so no worries, I always find it again).

I began to de-rail and fail and sabotage and screw up and do stupid things and...

Just pure STUPIDITY.

I'm not making excuses. Rather admitting that for all my awesomeness in the previous two months, I was completely ruining the success.

I've talked in the last several posts, about WHY, exactly...

New living space downtown. New distractions. Not working out. Not eating at home. Not holding myself accountable. Not focusing on the MOST IMPORTANT piece of my life:

GETTING MY LIFE BACK!

And now we are here. almost 3 whole months in and I am tired of this last month. I am tired of all the crap I did, some on purpose, some by idiocy, ALL with no regard to what I originally intended.

Healthy - MIND, BODY, and SPIRIT!

And I KNOW there are others who are struggling too. It's why we've stayed fat all these years. We start out and ROCK it OUT and then we start to slide.

The slide turns into a free-for-all and the next thing you know, we are right back where we started or HEAVIER for losing control.

WE can NOT allow this to happen.

We have come too far in our journeys to allow this to happen.

We must remain focused.

We must remain accountable.

We must lean on each other to guide us through on the right path.

We MUST do this. We are saving our lives and we ARE worth it.

As I finish this third month, I am reflective of all the things that got me HERE and how much further I could be if I had stayed on the path. I will continue (today) to work through that and tomorrow, I will enter into the new month with renewed focus and strength.

I am DOING this.

And so are you.

There's just no reason not to.

Till next time!

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Our Virtual Trip(s)

Michele: 10.5 miles

Anna: 170 miles

Sandi: 123.69 miles

Debbie: 76 miles

Kathy: 122.63 miles

Stephanie: 157.56 miles

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My October Goals:

Walk 130 miles - 22.19 = 107.81 miles to go!
Swim 20 hours - 30 minutes = 19 hours, 30 minutes to go! The heater is still not right!
Post Daily at My Fitness Pal - Slacked a bit this weekend. Ugh. This morning? Done!
Eat at home 25 dinners - 5 down, 20 to go!
Hit 50 pounds down - 13.4 pounds to go!
Reward with the much coveted compression suit - Only 13.4 pounds to go!

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Starting Weight: 306.4

Goal Weight: 150

Today's Weight: 269.8

Total Lost to Date: 36.6

yay...I'm in the 260's. No, I am not ready to celebrate it just yet!