Monday, October 8, 2012

Day 84 - Dear Diary and Friends...We Need to Talk!

Today is the last day of the first three months of the rest of my life.


I really WANT to count it at day 90 but if we're going month by month, today is the day that marks the end of of those first three months.

And while a LOT of good things have happened in these past three months, I do believe it's time we all had a little chat.

I don't want to call anyone out or bring anyone to task for what they have or haven't done...I'm merely going to share what I've been going through much of the last month and if any of it applies to you, you'll know and then maybe we can work that much harder to get our s**t together - together.

When I began this last weight loss journey - as in, this is the LAST TIME I'm taking this particular journey - I had just returned from Philadelphia, where I had tried out for Season 14 of the Biggest Loser.

As we all know, I did not get chosen for the show but while in Philly, I made a vow - I would not remain in this body another minute longer. That no matter what happened with BL14, I would begin my (last) journey and unlike so many times in the past, I would reach my destination: HEALTHY - mind, body, and spirit.

To that end, I came home and hopped right on it. The first month was AWESOME. I was focused and true and hit some pretty great goals. The second month I was still on track and averaging 1/2 a pound a day, lost.

The inches were falling off too and I was feeling good.

And then???

We started the third month. And I lost my mind (it happens to me a lot, so no worries, I always find it again).

I began to de-rail and fail and sabotage and screw up and do stupid things and...

Just pure STUPIDITY.

I'm not making excuses. Rather admitting that for all my awesomeness in the previous two months, I was completely ruining the success.

I've talked in the last several posts, about WHY, exactly...

New living space downtown. New distractions. Not working out. Not eating at home. Not holding myself accountable. Not focusing on the MOST IMPORTANT piece of my life:


And now we are here. almost 3 whole months in and I am tired of this last month. I am tired of all the crap I did, some on purpose, some by idiocy, ALL with no regard to what I originally intended.

Healthy - MIND, BODY, and SPIRIT!

And I KNOW there are others who are struggling too. It's why we've stayed fat all these years. We start out and ROCK it OUT and then we start to slide.

The slide turns into a free-for-all and the next thing you know, we are right back where we started or HEAVIER for losing control.

WE can NOT allow this to happen.

We have come too far in our journeys to allow this to happen.

We must remain focused.

We must remain accountable.

We must lean on each other to guide us through on the right path.

We MUST do this. We are saving our lives and we ARE worth it.

As I finish this third month, I am reflective of all the things that got me HERE and how much further I could be if I had stayed on the path. I will continue (today) to work through that and tomorrow, I will enter into the new month with renewed focus and strength.

I am DOING this.

And so are you.

There's just no reason not to.

Till next time!


Our Virtual Trip(s)

Michele: 10.5 miles

Anna: 170 miles

Sandi: 123.69 miles

Debbie: 76 miles

Kathy: 122.63 miles

Stephanie: 157.56 miles

My October Goals:

Walk 130 miles - 22.19 = 107.81 miles to go!
Swim 20 hours - 30 minutes = 19 hours, 30 minutes to go! The heater is still not right!
Post Daily at My Fitness Pal - Slacked a bit this weekend. Ugh. This morning? Done!
Eat at home 25 dinners - 5 down, 20 to go!
Hit 50 pounds down - 13.4 pounds to go!
Reward with the much coveted compression suit - Only 13.4 pounds to go!


Starting Weight: 306.4
Goal Weight: 150
Today's Weight: 269.8
Total Lost to Date: 36.6

yay...I'm in the 260's. No, I am not ready to celebrate it just yet!


  1. San,
    Sometimes I think we all sabatage ourselves. Really, I know I have. I know that I am a person who always starts out strong and then just never should see all the craft projects I've started and never finished. And the worst part is.....all these things can be beautiful......including myself.....if I would just FINISH them. I don't know what it is about some of us that just switches off when we are doing so well. But I do know that this time I HAVE TO PUSH THROUGH IT!!! I can't give up! This isn't only for losing weight and getting's for everything. I need to finish what I start. I'm so bad about it, I do dishes every day, but always seem to leave the silverware until I have to do it, or take hours to do 15 minutes worth of dishes. I have started pushing myself to FINISH my dishes, wash dried and put away before I walk out of the kitchen. It may be a small thing......but I have to teach myself to doesn't matter what I finish.....I just need to finish, finish something to make me feel like, Okay, I finished this, so now I need to finish something else.
    I need to do a blog post on finishing things so I don't hijack your blog. But I think you can see where I'm going with this. We have to learn to finsh what we started and not give up before we finish.
    Great post and it really got me to thinking. Thank you so much.

  2. FINISHING. I LOVE your comment, Debbie. You (and many others I am now fortunate to know) KNOW what I am going through. It makes the journey less of a struggle. Thank YOU for that!


Thank you for sharing a bit of you with me, may we all traverse through this life happily!