5 Weeks In and I am...

...down for the week. More about that in a minute...

Another crazy week complete in my new life; what a WEEK.

I'm beginning to get it, though. That's LIFE. And I've gotta roll with it.

I'm not going to have days and days and DAYS where everything is perfect - perfect food portions, perfect choices, perfect, perfect, perfect...

What the H E double hockey sticks is perfect, anyway?

So...what's the recap? Let's see:

Week 5 at a Glance:

Day 29: 289.2 - In the 8's and feelin' great!

Day 30: 285.6 - Wow, big drop; now how can I mess THIS up?

Day: 31: 285.8 - I gained .2 pounds, not complaining, it happens.

Day 32: 286.6 - Another gain, UGH, told you I was going to mess it up.

Day 33: 286.2 - Whew, lost a few ounces, what a relief.

Day 34: 286.4 - UP a couple of ounces, grrrrr...

Day 35: 288.2 - THAT'S me in double cheeseburger HELL, right there.

Day 36: 286.2 - Today begins week 6 and I'm feelin' fine.

So, to bottom-line the recap, I lost 3 pounds in week 5, for a total of 20.2 pounds down, EXACTLY, in 35 days. That's 4 pounds per week on average and that's a GREAT number.

What I have to remember, is that I am human, prone to making stupid mistakes and giving in (sometimes) much too easily.

I also must remember that this IS the rest of my life and I am the only one who can determine my next step.

Speaking of steps...

I have been wearing my BERNdometer for 17 days, walking 102,902 steps (not including today's steps, which is the 18th day and not over yet, ya see...)...

...which gives me an average of 6,053 steps per day - roughly 3 miles per day.

Not too shabby. I still need to step it up a bit to make my 100 miles in August goal; but I am walking more steps daily and I do feel proud of the result.

I also have a problem...

Oh, lordy, here we go...

But no, seriously, just listen...

The other day I mentioned something to Gary that didn't strike me until much later on. I said: "Ya know, I am so worried about this 285 thing (my weight on the scale for that day). I have been THERE so many times in the last 2 years..."

What hit me later is this:

I am SCARED TO DEATH that I will never be less than 285.

I have gone up and down between 285 and 300+ for the last 2 years solid - losing the same 15-20 pounds over and over and OVER again. I am terrified that I won't escape that number.

Like, mind-numbingly, would you just shut the hell up and get over it, TERRIFIED.

So...

What's a girl to do?

Get over it. Of course.

This week is going to be scary as I work toward getting under 285. Once I'm under, it will be equally difficult to not allow myself to self-sabotage (CHEESEBURGERS, anyone?).

But I have to do this.

I NEED to do this. Not want, NEED. You get it, right?

I have to continue moving forward, even climbing UP (when all I want to do is go down, obviously).

Folks?

This IS the hardest thing I am ever going to do in my life.

Forget child-birth, forget in-grown toe-nail removal, or other near-death surgeries, injuries, and late nights out with friends...

This is IT.

MY life. YOUR life, OUR lives...

Ready?

Let's DO this!

Till next time!

...where I'm going to be sharing a bit about rejection...stay tuned!

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August 100 Miles Challenge Update: 

Sandi: 50.84 miles

Anna:  39.5 miles

Kathy: 67.71 miles

Steffie: 52.88 miles 

Bernie: 4.3 miles

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Remember, if you want me to track your miles for August, just shoot me a note and I will add you to the blog. If you are here already and I've got your numbers wrong, just shoot me...no, no, just let me know and I'll change it. I'm good with that. Cheers!

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Starting Weight: 306.4

Goal Weight: 150

Today's Weight: 286.2

Total Lost to Date: 20.2

Still Can't Adjust the Date - GRRR!

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I am a work in progress, always. Sometimes I stumble, but I always get back up. The hard part is knowing which direction to turn. If I go THAT way, I know I will fail. This time, I'm going THIS way. It's a new direction for me and I will NOT fail. Cheers!

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Almost forgot again, my goal(s) for this week: 

Get UNDER (safely but FIRMLY) 285. 

UP my steps by stepping a tad more than 10,000 daily to raise the total average. 

Easy Peasy, let's git 'er dun!