Day 14 - OMG, I Didn't Gain - WooHOO!

Yes...

...er, it's more like YESSSSSSS!!!

I didn't gain.

And darn well I shouldn't. I was a very good girl yesterday. I believe the ONLY reason that I didn't lose anything was because we were up late picking my darling daughter up from the airport and I'm up early now, working on getting this day started.

The last day of my first two weeks of the rest of my life.

YAY!

I consider this a win and that said, it's going in (said) win column!

Let's go back to sleep...

ZZZZZZ zzzzz ZZZZZ...

Oooops, I mean, let's talk about it for a minute!

Sleep - getting enough of it - is so very important for your weight loss success. I even wrote about it once; let me dig that one out...

3 Best Tips (4 - 5 - 6) for Your Weight Loss Success

(as you can see, I've been to this rodeo more than once or twice)

Anyway, sleep is important. You know that. I know, too, that we can't always get as many zzz's as we'd like. Just try aiming for 6-8 hours of restful sleep per night and you will absolutely aid your weight loss process - as well as a whole bunch of other good things (go click that link, I said).

Ahhh, sleep.

Well, Punky IS home, so I will be missing sleep, haha...a tad bit. But since she is so very supportive of mommy, I'm sure she'll understand if I snooze a bit longer in the mornings.

Heck, that lil stinker is still passed out and here I thought she'd be UP and rarin' to go.

Darn jet-lag.

Either way, I'm up and must get moving on the day. Hope it's a GREAT one for everyone! Don't forget to make it count!

Till next time!

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Starting Weight: 306.4

Goal Weight: 150

Today's Weight: 293.4

Total Lost to Date: 13

© 2012 Dear Diary, I'm Fat...Now What?

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OMG (and by that, I mean Oh MY Goodness - yes, someone on YouTube accused me of taking the Lord's name in vain, once. Not that I haven't - forgive me - in other ways; just clarifying my OMG)...

ANYway, I almost forgot to SHOUT it OUT to all my lurky loos. My diary hit 300 views yesterday and HOW darn awesome is THAT? 

Nosy Nillys, reading my diary...what is WRONG with you? 

Thanks for the love. I do hope someone out there SOMEwhere is enjoying my crazy and getting some help along the way. Cheers!

Day 13 - It's All About Control

As I made my way through my routine(s) this morning, I couldn't help but think about control.

The lyrics to an old Janet Jackson song kept playing in my head...

Control
(Never going to stop)
Control
(To get what I want)

some old school Janet for ya...

...and I knew, as I hummed my way downstairs and toward the scale, that this past week has been all about me NOT having control.

Control of what I say but MORE SO control of what I do.

I still have 2 whole days before marking the end of week 2 and I have been completely out of control this week.

Looking back on it, I realize that for most, it might not seem SO bad...a slip up here, not weighing this there (on the food scale), etc., etc.

But for me (and with my track record) I know this has been, in the past, the beginning of the end.

Another fail.

Cheesits, People. We are ONLY (not even) 2 weeks IN.

I've got to get my C R A P together.

This was made ever more evident as I clicked my daily weigh in pic.

I had gained. Again.

293.4 this morning.

Now, LOGICALLY speaking, I am still 13 pounds down total. GREAT number, right?

Of course.

However, I know me. And I know my head (crazy 'ol noggin THAT is). I teetered this week and I need to put the brakes on the bus RIGHT freakin' now.

Because I will not go back down the path of least resistance. I will continue to step outside my comfort zone and I AM getting healthy.

Control
(Now I've got a lot)
Control
(To get what I want)

I know there are a plethora of things I cannot control.

I also know that my life, my actions, my head and heart, my body...I control.

I'm in control - Day 13 - Let the games begin...

Till next time!

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Starting Weight: 306.4

Goal Weight: 150

Today's Weight: 293.4

Total Lost to Date: 13

© 2012 Dear Diary, I'm Fat...Now What?

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Control (Janet Jackson) lyrics courtesy of MetroLyrics

Day 12 - Uh, Oh...the Scale is Moving the WRONG Way!

Yep, everyone was so EXCITED about my 15 pound weight loss last week.

Well, I was, certainly...can't speak for anyone else.

But this week is not going well in terms of which direction that darn ol' scale is moving.

Maybe it's (this inanimate object that operates only by my stepping upon it) MAD at me?

I was kind of mean in my (hate the scale) post yesterday...

Hmmm...

Or MAYBE my body is simply catching up to the large loss and repositioning itself accordingly.

Yep. We're going with that.

Either way, I'm at 292.2 this morning, which means a 14.2 pound loss in 11 days. I'm still way ahead of target for my goals so I really shouldn't be annoyed.

OF COURSE I'm annoyed. I don't want to move UP. I want to move DOWN.

I want...

I want...

I want...

...exactly what got me HERE in the first place.

I want another drink...

I want a candy bar...

I want pizza...

So, what DO we DO now?

Stay FOCUSED. Today's a new day and I'm going to LIVE it the way I've been the last 11 - with true intentions for my life-long weight loss success.

I didn't do a darn thing yesterday to derail, in fact I worked my butt off cleaning which should have...awww, heck...no sense whining about it and I will not hunch my shoulders to the past.

No time for worrying about what I could have done, I did my best and that's all I can do.

Today - I will keep on keepin' on...

Time for breakfast and then on to the day.

Till next time!

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Starting Weight: 306.4

Goal Weight: 150

Today's Weight: 292.2

Total Lost to Date: 14.2

© 2012 Dear Diary, I'm Fat...Now What?

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Day 11 - Two Things I H**e About My Scale

Okay, firstly, I do not like the word hate.

I even wrote something about it once...

5 Things I Hate about You (Baaahahahahaaa, sometimes I forget how much I love to write)

...of course then I had to counter that with...

5 Things I Love about You (which, AWEsomely enough, is still going strong today, YAY)

But today...

I have to talk about the two things that I so intensely dislike about my scale.

Drum roll, please...

#1? 

Why, no matter how many times I reconfigure you, do you insist on displaying the wrong day?!!! It's not tomorrow, it's today. And I just wish you'd not be so stubborn because it makes me feel like I'm tricking myself, or you (dear scale), or the people who see my daily weigh ins. At the least, it's confusing and I just plain don't like it - A LOT!

and...

#2?

You insist on being stubborn about the time too. It's not 5:08 a.m., its more like 6:30 a.m. - or whatever time it is that I deem you worthy to be stepped upon by me. The point is, your timing is off and that's an aggravation too.

Now...

Being the Type A (ish, hahahha) personality that I am...I KNOW that this has nothing to do with the scale and everything to do with the person attempting to reconfigure the scale.

However...

That never seems to matter when I step on (said) scale and the time and date are STILL wrong.

Ugh.

Please don't tell me that I can't control other people/places/things, only MY reaction to them/there/it. I KNOW that.

Hence this awesomely ridiculous and nonsensical post.

Oh, and about today's weigh in?

I did lose the .2 I gained yesterday.

Have I mentioned how much I LOVE my scale?

Till next time!

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Starting Weight: 306.4

Goal Weight: 150

Today's Weight: 291.6

Total Lost to Date: 14.8

© 2012 Dear Diary, I'm Fat...Now What?

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Day 10 - OMG, It Happened...One Little Drink!

Cue the scary music, hide the children, run for the hills.

Okay, geesh, it's not THAT scary.

But I gained.

Yep. I woke up this morning, nervous to hop on the scale, knowing that last night I had been a bit of a bad girl.

JUST a bit.

One more drink than I should have.

That's it. And that was all it took. I knew when I made that fateful decision that I was not making the best choice. And yet I did it anyway. I slipped.

It happens.

I'm here to tell you all that I am an addict.

Not exactly the kind of addict you would normally think of; but an addict nonetheless.

Addicted to food, addicted to bad habits, addicted to teetering on the edge and allowing myself to fall over.

And last night I fell over.

Oh, I didn't go CRAZY (as I already mentioned). But I did do something I shouldn't have.

And I'm not TRYING to make a big deal about this but it IS something of concern.

In order to make life changes, 

one must be dedicated to believing

 that change is GOOD. 

I've spent the last nine days believing that.

Now...

I could just shake it off and move on - in fact, I will MOST CERTAINLY do that.

But not without full disclosure; to myself and to anyone reading my diary.

In the past, when something like this (ridiculously small gain) has happened, it has derailed me in ways that have caused me to immediately consider failure - again - and gain back whatever I'd lost.

As this is my present, I am here to tell you that THAT is not going to happen.

Don't tell me it was one little drink or that it happens or that I'll do better next time. I know all that.

And I also know that going forward, I will not allow myself to be tempted again.

Yes, maybe it IS that serious. Now, you are going to look at this (ridiculously small gain) and quite possibly roll your eyes or shake your head.

But some of you, perhaps many of you, will understand that edge I'm talking about. And that as addicts (however that may be) we must stay away from the edge.

Knowing what I know about myself and all the times I've tried and failed before, I know the edge is the scariest place to be.

To that end, I've got my feet on solid ground and I AM moving forward. Not slipping, not giving in, not losing the motivation OR sight of what's important.

All THAT from one little drink.

Imagine that.

Till next time!

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Starting Weight: 306.4

Goal Weight: 150

Today's Weight: 291.8

Total Lost to Date: 14.6

© 2012 Dear Diary, I'm Fat...Now What?

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WAIT a minute, what the HECK? .2 gain and I'm getting all serious? Yep. Even though I stayed within my allotted calories for the day, it didn't matter, the combination of what I put in my mouth was wrong. And yes, that is most certainly SERIOUS! 

I am not just going to succeed this time; I am succeeding. One truthful moment at a time!

Day 9 - Can You Say ACCCKKKK?

I'm sure you can...say ACCCKKKK.

It's what I'm saying, anyway.

Today's post?

Short 


and 


Sweet

I just got back from an incredibly intense workout (6 whole minutes followed by tears and hugs) at the gym; thanks Darcelle. And I'm here with a quickie. I did weigh in this morning and I am down...again...

YAY!

I've lost 15 pounds in 8 days and I am 10 pounds away from meeting my first goal.

Whew.

I NEED to talk about the large numbers and the quickness of it but I don't have the time today. You know, sometimes, life just gets in the way?

Yah. Seriously.

So I'm off to take care of business (hunka hunka - thank you very much) and will hopefully have time for a longer post later today; but will most definitely be here tomorrow, sharing more CRA-CRA.

ACCCKKKK!

Till next time!

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Starting Weight: 306.4

Goal Weight: 150

Today's Weight: 291.6

Total Lost to Date: 15

© 2012 Dear Diary, I'm Fat...Now What?

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Week One Done - How'd I Do?

I can't believe it's only been one week since returning from Philly and beginning my new life journey.

7 WHOLE days since awakening with a new plan, a good plan, a plan to get healthy - and DO it this time.

But here we are, ending the first week, beginning anew.

And how did I do, week one?

AWESOME.

I pulled unBELIEVable numbers my first week and I say that because if I hadn't seen the scale with my own two eyes each day, I would have been hard pressed to think it true.

Let's recap:

Day One: 306.4 - Ugh, seriously? My heaviest probably EVER (that I can remember)

Day Two: 304 - Okay, good; a nice 2.4 drop, YAY!

Day Three: 304 - Grrrr, I don't like staying the same but I'm not giving up.

Day Four: 302.6 - Yay, the scale is moving again, happy dance!

Day Five: 300 - Still moving, I'm stoked!

Day Six: 296.4 - WOW, is this for REAL?

Day Seven: 294.8 - It's happening, people!

Day Eight: 292.6 - Yep, at the end of week one I am DOWN 14 FREAKIN' pounds.

Wow.

And I have to tell you, it wasn't easy AND it wasn't hard. I recorded ALL my food and exercise each day, learned a bit more about weighing things on the food scale, drank my 8 plus (more like 13-15) glasses of water each day, journaled HERE each day (sometimes twice), and generally held myself accountable in ways that I had not (in ALL my fat adult life) EVER done before.

I avoided sweets all week and honestly didn't crave them - I didn't even cave to the jello/cool whip back up, barely even gave it a thought.

Although...I really can't say no sweets ALL week. I did have a drumstick ice cream last night. I wanted a bit of chocolate ice cream and when I went to the store and perused the selections I chose the drumstick for two reasons:

1 - all the chocolate ice creams I looked at said 300 cals for 1/2 a cup. Come ON, people, a 1/2 a cup? Have you MET a chubby girl (me) who can ONLY do a 1/2 a cup? Maybe someday but NOT today.

and...

2 - the drumstick was only 350 calories total and it was BIG. And now I don't have any leftover ice cream in the house to tempt me. I ate it, it was good, and it didn't make me want to bury my face in a vat of it. YAY me!

Let's see, what else?

Oh, I didn't avoid the alcohol all week either. I had 3 drinks total, one on one day, and two on the other. My preferred drink is carb free anyway, but because I'm staying away from soda, I didn't go crazy. Not good to go cra-cra with the liquor ANYway, right? Right!

Oh, and hmmm...

I worked out with my trainer, Darcelle, on Wednesday and Thursday, and she gave me homework for Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. Technically Friday was my day off (you should never work out more than 6 days per week), but I still managed a 15 minute slow walk that day because we didn't know I was going to take Friday off until I had already walked my sore a** to the gym - Darcelle was nice enough to bring me home.

I did indeed do all my homework and Darcelle, my wonderful friend and trainer, was in daily contact  with me, boosting me UP and making sure I stayed on track. I didn't have a choice but to get it done anyway; she told me, if I didn't do it, it would be added to the next day. Scary? Yes, but exactly what I need!

I do believe that sums up my week as far as food, exercise, and overall weight loss journey stuff goes.

What else happened? (...you ask, nervously, hoping I'm wrapping this up...)

My daughter broke her wrist, we may have found an apartment, I got to swim in the ocean, I began writing my book, and I discovered a side of someone that I never would have believed existed.

All in all?

A busy, productive, CRAZY week!

Ready for the next one? I've got salads to talk about, secrets to reveal, a contest to share, and plenty of other good and/or boring and/or funny stuff to bring you, YAY!

Till next time!

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Starting Weight: 306.4

Goal Weight: 150

Today's Weight: 292.6

Total Lost to Date: 14

© 2012 Dear Diary, I'm Fat...Now What?

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